i'M sO sOrrY =(

As the title above, I really feeling sorry to YOU..

I know u dun like me to say sorry, but still, I wanna say it..

Baby, I'M SO SO SO SORRY T_T

I really dun mean to make u feel uneasy n sad..

I really could understand how u feel..

But I really hav phobia n I couldn't control it..

Can u give me some time to overcome the fear?

PLEASE =(

Every1 hav their own weakness, n this is one of my weakness..

I dun dare to ask for more, I just nid u to gimme some time..

N let's overcome it together!!!

Hao ma?

One more thing, I really dun mean to control u!!!

I hope that u'll understand how I feel also...

"If u love some1, u'll have to accept his/her everything"

I'm agreed with this..we nid to be tolerate..right?

I'll try to accept it, n I hope baby will try to accept n understand how I feel too..

ALL I NID IS SOME TIME...

I'll give u time too, but I'll really scared n worried when u're away..

I apologize for everything that I've done that make u feel uneasy...

N..

Baby, I love you =3

I really hope that I can be with u forever..

~ Recently ~

Uh oh..

Long time din log in to my blog again..

If it's isn't my fren asked me to log in my acc in order to view her private blog, I think I also wont be logging in..haha

What I've been doing in these few months?

Err...

Sumthing sad to say, I quited A level n joined Canadian Pre-u on July intake..

But it's not that I'm goin to Canada, it's just the name of that course..haha

Reason of switching?

One simple reason... MY MATHS ARE SUX!!! -_-

What am I doin recently?

I'm now having my holiday..

Everyday rotting at home...UNTIL JULY!!! -_-

I was planning to go back to Penang, my hometown..

But parents don't allowed me to do so..

Coz ... DANGEROUS?!

ARGH!!!

Everyday rotting at home is driving me MAD!!!

I even sien until couldn't slp at nite ~_~

WTH!!!

N I've got my driving license but I'm NOT ALLOWED to drive -_-

Haihz... what a poor girl rite? lol

Me n him?

We're ... like that lor ...

He's having exam n so, I've to be understanding.. (trying to be)

No phone call n no webcam ...

Sumtimes, I feel sad n lonely too, but I cried secretly without telling him =(

Haihz..

Never realized that I'm so so so scared of him..

N what can I do now is to wait for him to come back =D

That's the only thing that can make me happy..

Hehe..

Cheer up guys n girls ~

I think I'm goin to stop here.. sleepy adi lol

Tata ~

cHiNeSe NeW yEaR n vAlEnTiNe'S dAy =D

It's chinese new year n valentine's day today =D
But I hav to go back to my hometown, penang..
Currently at uncle's home =p

I'm kinda happy coz I can meet my granny n relatives =)
But.. I couldn't meet him =(
Luckily, we can still text n we can meet each other thru net..
( although he cant on webcam often T-T )
Anyway. I'm going out now =p
Happy CNY n V.day =D




No matter how, I'll still love him =3

i'M BACK !!!!!!! xD

Aww..
Hi guys n girls ~
Finally i'm back to my blog ><
It has been like half year i didn't touch my blog ?!
Coz it's too emo adi LOL
N I feel like crying everytime i look at the blog ><

But dun worry guys n girls..
I'm now back to my blog adi.. which mean that I'm ok with that adi =D
Coz somebody has inspired n asked me to "rebuild" my blog.. haha
N I did it for the sake of that somebody ><
So..
I hope that it wont be an emo blog anymore =D


Cheer every1 ^^

wHy i aLwaYs LiKe tO tHinK sO mUcH??

Szcien, what a cowardly person..

Sum1 who dun dare on everything..

Sum1 who like to think too much..

Haiz..

Today..

3 of my ji mui went to camping..

Actually I feel like goin back to visit them..

But when I asked them..

They say they'll be busy..

So.. I think I dun be so busybody ba..

Mayb they dun wan to see me?

Dunno ler..

( Think too much again ) ><

It's raining just now..

Really worried abt them..

Especially ling jie..

Coz I know she's sick..

Dunno she feel better le ma..?

Hmm..

Feel like messaging them..

But I dun dare.. AGAIN !! -_-

Where is my courage?

I scare I'll disturb them..

I scare they're slping..

( Although I knew that they wont slp so early.. ) -_-

I scare they're still busy..

I scare I'll interupt them..

Mayb they din on their phone?

( Giving excuses to myself AGAIN )

Haiz..

Although I know that I'm giving excuses to myself..

Although I know that I shud be more initiative.. just send that msg..

But I still dun dare..

I dunno why I worried abt so many thing..

Why cant I just send that msg?

I really duno..-_-

I want them to know that I worried abt them..

I know if I dun do anything..

They wont know that I'm worrying abt them..

But I still dun dare to do anything..

All I could do is just say it in blog..

Hoping that they'll know when they view my blog sumday..

Hmm..

Stupid rite?

But it's me.. the stupid szcien, sum1 who like to think too much!!

All I hope is..

I could chg myself to be better..

To be more courageous..

To be more initiative..

Not to worry so much..

Lastly..

I hope they'll know what am I thinking..

I hope they'll know that..

They still got this mui worry abt them..

Jiayou!! N face it !! ><

I tot the prob has solved..

N I've a chat with her..( her aka my close fren )

At the beginning..

We chat abt sumthing like usual..

I feel better that time..

Coz we still can chat..

I heard that she's moody..

I tried to make her happy..

Although I'm still worry abt our frenship..

But I dun dare to let any1 know..

I scare it'll affect our frenship again..

I dun wan to make it worse bcoz of my sensitive again..

I very cherish abt this frenship..

But what can I do..

I'm the 1 who ruined it..

She's suppose to angry abt me..

I wont ask for much..

As long as I'm still her fren..

As long as I'm still her mei..

Nothing much n nothing less..

We chat until halfway..

We started to chat back abt this prob again..

Actually I hate to chat abt this prob..

Coz it'll make me bad mood n start to think much again..

But jie wanna talk abt it..

Then I'll hear it n talk abt it..

I said sorry to her..

N she wan compensation from me..

I said.. what do u wan from me?

At the beginning..

It's very normal..

Coz I'm talking abt lame thing n try to jokes..

( I know it's not funny but just trying to make the condition not that cold )

After that..

She told me that things gotta be diff..

I said " then I hope it wont be a big diff "..

She said.. it wont be big..

I REALLY HOPE SO..

Seriously..

When I heard abt that..

I start to feel no energy to type..

My hand start to feel numb..

I dun wan to continue the chat..

But in order to make it like normal..

I tried to chat like normal by saying that I'll try to accept how u gotta treat me..

I know it cant be change much..

It's the fact.. n I deserve it..

I'm afraid..

Really afraid..

I duno how to face her..

Time is passing secs by secs..

N tml..

We'll meet at skul..

Cant stop thinking abt how she gotta treat me..

Looking at the sky..

Sky are turning darker n darker..

It's gotta be tml..

What will really happen??

All the thing cant be reverse..

What can I do now..

Is just FACE IT!!

Szcien..

Jiayou ba !!

Ntg much will be diff.. GAMBATEH!!

( Trying to cheat myself again -_- )

i'M tHe OnE wHo RuiNeD eVerYtHinG ...

Everything had been ruined by me..
Bcoz of my selfishness..

I duno what the hell am i thinking..
Keep thinking the negative side..
Make me keep showing my black face..

I cried..
Make my fren cried also..
I duno I gotta make how many ppl cry in this week..

Things ald happened.. coz by me..
But I duno what to do at last..
I know things cant be back like normal..
I dun even hav the courage to apologize..
Bcoz I noe my apologize.. is worthless..
Even though I apologize for 1000 times..
They also wont hav any feel..

I feel very sorry to all my sisters..
We suppose to sing k happily..
I wasted their money..
I make every1's mood sux..
Just bcoz of my selfishness n my stupid brain!!
I ruined my yeng jie's 1st p trip..
I feel very sorry..

N now..
I only know that I dun hav much fren..
I duno who to talk to when this thing happened!!
I hav no fren except u all..
But I'm making u all not to talk to me..
Saying that u're speechless to me..
Saying that u dun wan to know anything..
My heart really feel pain..
But what can I do?
It's all my fault!!

Now only I know..
How lonely am I without u all..

Jies..
PLEASE DUN LEAVE ME..
I KNEW THAT I'M WRONG..
I DUN EXPECT U ALL WILL FORGIVE ME..
COZ EVEN MYSELF ALSO CANT FORGIVE MYSELF!!

N now..
THE USELESS SZCIEN REALLY DUNO WHAT TO DO T-T